Dear Anxiety

From the nights you had me up

To the many times you made my heart race,

Second by second,

Beat by beat,

You had me at one realization

I couldn’t keep you anymore

You were the excuse i used

When no one else knew

When no one thought it was true

As a growing student

Heavily burdened by you

I always saw the whole actuality

I never saw

Why you chose me

And you had me disputed

Always in dispute Photo by Ian

From you

Only you

You requested my hurt

I gave it all to you

Because I was self doubted

Just for comfort

I kept up emotions

I pursued for strength

Although it was out of reach

I struggled to endure because of YOU

You became my natural aptitude

When a baby stands it begins

to walk

When a body is exhausted it

Is determined to rest

You bestowed a 12 year old girl

apprehension to unknown fear

Her discovery of contemporary

found view

Yet her parasite for unwanted

new

I always love the way you gave

me a reason to receive comfort

But I will always hate the way

you deceived me into uncertainty

You suited a sponge

You sucked my condolence

You almost lead me to depression

You made me befit silence

Thankfully you never conceived

me to violence

It’s okay though

You enabled me to see a side

of myself I thought I’d never discern

But nevertheless caused me for concern

I refuse to remain quiet with you

I want to deny knowing your name

I will disallow myself to let you have

a hold on me myself and I

If I make this decision

Then this is goodbye

Sincerely,

Giana

© Copyright Giana Deronvil